Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Happy Birthday My Love

Today is one of those days…I have nothing to give my bride for her special day. Well at least nothing that costs money. Over the past several years, I have not been able to give her a cool gift on her birthday. I guess the good news is she is happy to just have me, my heart and my affection.

Is she disappointed by not getting a super cool gift or expensive jewelry? Maybe, but she loves me for just being me and doesn’t act disappointed or let down. This year, all I could give her was a cheap date that consisted of dessert and coffee. We had big plans for dinner and a movie but those plans got messed up by circumstances outside our control so we did dessert and coffee instead. She rolled with it and we had fun anyway. It was the first date we have had for many weeks so it was kind of a big deal!

Dear Jenni,

I am so thankful for the woman you have become. You give so much to so many people everyday of your life. You take care of your boys in so many amazing ways. You do mounds of laundry every week even though you have tons of other work to do. You make us amazing meals that are creative and healthy. You show love to our boys even when they are disobedient and grumpy. You are patient with me when I am detached and stressed.

Please accept this post as a token of how much you are loved and appreciated. I hope one day your body doesn’t hurt and you can sleep all night and feel rested for a day. Maybe I won’t have to work so hard to massage all the kinks out of your neck that day!

I am seriously thankful to have you as a partner on this crazy journey of life. It’s awesome that we get to be a part of changing lives and advancing God’s Kingdom together. One day, I will get you a super cool birthday present and blow your mind! Until then, you just get me.



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Since our episode of Unfaithful aired yesterday on OWN  I thought it was a good time to discuss what it’s like to remember something awful.

Everyone knows the saying, “forgive and forget”. Well it’s simply not a very truthful saying. Even after you forgive, you will likely remember forever. The power of forgiveness is the memory does not get to control you or your emotions any longer.

Watching the show last night with Jenni was almost as difficult as sitting in counseling sessions shortly after she confessed to me. The pain was fresh, raw and totally disturbing.

I was humiliated very publicly.

Don’t read into what I am saying here. It was by choice and I don’t regret sharing so publicly. BUT, it was painful and difficult to endure in the moment.

As much as I want to crawl back in a hole and feel sorry for myself . Instead I am choosing to move forward, to push closer to Jenni and to continue to chose forgiveness over bitterness. God has worked a miraculous restoration in our marriage and I am very grateful. In all sincerity this experience has proved to be another layer of healing in our marriage and a kick in the head for Satan.

If you are dealing with betrayal or struggling with something you need to confess. Please be encouraged that there is healing and forgiveness available to you. Your story may turn out very different than ours but I know that I wouldn’t change much of anything from the past two years. As painful as it has been, the rewards are far greater. My encouragement to you is to simply do the next “right” thing. You probably know what that is.

Mrs. Clayville,

I am so proud of your willingness to be humbled, vulnerable, and even attacked by a few. I know your heart. Everything you have shared publicly was intentional in order to help a few ladies avoid making the same mistakes. To right a wrong. I am proud of you for risking everything with just a slight hope that you would be able to live with me in total honesty and purity. I am not sure if I could have made the incredibly difficult decisions that you have made along this journey of restoration. You will have a special place in the God’s kingdom one day. I love you.

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Mother’s Day

Just want to pause for a minute to share how much I appreciate Jenni on Mother’s Day and everyday.

  •  you love us intentionally
  •  you are content to spend the day with us without any big hoopla
  •  you work hard to be healthy on every level for our boys.
  •  you are always beautiful
  • you keep us from living in a dirt house with soiled clothing
  •  you take time to play and document priceless moments

I love you!

P.S. Chance say: “Happy Mothers Day Mommy. Could you get me some pretzels?”

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Thank you Lord for life

Thank you Lord for freedom in you

Thank you Lord for freedom in this Country

Thank you Lord for family (especially mine)

Thank you Lord for a day to rest, refresh, eat and be joyful with the ones we love.

May your day be filled with blessings from the Lord today.  Take time to thank Him and those around you for what they mean to you.

Be Blessed

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Paxton Turns 2

How do I even begin to describe how I feel about you Paxton?

Your personality is so fun and goofy.  It’s a bizarre combination of your Mom and Me and our  goofiest traits.  You are the constant clown and almost always happy!  Your smiles are completely contagious and your laughter can cheer up the grumpiest person.  Some say you look like me, I hope I am half as cute as you.You were born to us in a challenging period of our life and have had to endure a lot of pain over your first two years.  You have amazingly brightened our World in a time that truly was very dark in many ways.  You make good days better and really hard days tolerable.  Thank you for bringing sunshine to our lives every day Paxton.

Dear Paxton,

I want you to know beyond a shadow of any doubt; that you are loved, that your daddy is proud of you and above all else you have a heavenly Father that adores you and will never leave you or forget you.

No matter what challenge you are faced with you can count on God to be there to guide you and love you.  God has huge plans for you life, I pray you will choose to follow those plans.  You can count on me to encourage you in those wildest pursuits and to equip you the best I possibly can.   Every time I look at you my heart swells with pride and joy.  I will always strive to make clear how I feel about you.  God bless your life today, tomorrow and forever!


Love You,


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Continued sort of…

Today I am cheating and using what Jenni has already shared about our trip

I will give my thoughts in more detail another day.

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Continued from Yesterday

Saturday the 25th of September was Jenni’s 32nd birthday, I had no way of buying her the type of gift I would like to.  Her friend Mikey really wanted to take her out for a spa day so I had blocked out the whole afternoon on our shared google calendar.  It just said “special date” in the notes it mentioned baby sitting was arranged.  She was asking me all week what this meant and I just vaguely blew her off.  She kinda hates surprises but Mikey really wanted it to be a surprise so I played along.

When by 11:00 or so on Saturday she was getting really inquisitive about what to wear and all that so I gave her as much as I could without spilling the beans so she would relax about it.  Finally Mikey show up and says surprise you are hanging out with me.   It was kind of cool to see that Jenni was very happy to hang with a really close friend for the day but a little disappointed she wasn’t on a date with me.  In our past she would have been totally happy to have the day with a friend but we are much closer now and that is a good thing!

The next week leading up to our El Paso trip I don’t remember a lot of new revelations or experiences.  I continued to read the book by Bill Johnson and kind of soak in my new understanding of the “Holy Spirit” and the peace I was experiencing.  Their was the mounting concern about contacting our Land Lord about being jobless and unable to pay our rent in full or on time.  Fortunately he has always been more than fair with us.  I knew he would be willing to work with us but you never know how someone will respond to “I lost my job and can’t pay rent”.

Wednesday evening my Mom and Grandma show up to stay at our house and watch our children during our trip to El Paso.  My Mom immediately asked the question, “are you sure you want to go off to El Paso and take my Grandchildren so far away”?

We reminded her that we had no idea, that is why we had to go check it out and see where God was leading.  We knew she would not try to stop us from following God’s call but she did want to be near her kids and Grand kids.  it’s good to be loved and have family close by.  Many times family can be used as an excuse to not follow God’s leading so we must listen and check our motives.

Our trip started at 5:ooa.m. on Thursday…


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