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Dear Men,

I feel like my voice has been awakened for you.  The faithful, strong, loving husbands and fathers.

You know who you are.

You are the type who treat people with respect even when they don’t deserve it.  You turn the other cheek frequently and take care of your business (at least the business that you know how to handle).  I was one of you my whole life.

I AM YOU.

Then one day,  my world was shaken so hard it almost destroyed me in it’s quake.  My wife and I shared that experience  publicly yesterday for the first time.

What I want to share today are a few key “things” that helped me find my voice (people/decisions):

FRIENDS: Justin and Trisha Davis were placed in our path by God at just the right time.  They helped tip the first domino that began a crucial and life changing chain of events for us.  You can read about that on Justin’s recent post.  Another couple who we connected to immediately was Chad & Sarah Markley.  Sarah and Jenni connected first, but Chad quickly became a lifeline for me.  Chad modeled the behavior I wanted to reflect in my life.  He pursued me and spoke truth and love to me.

It was after Jenni had revealed her affair to me that I began a long period of soul searching, hiding, self-medicating and just plain being angry and depressed.  I had a few people along the way who spoke truth to me and probably a hundred people praying over us from near and far.  Satan tried everything in his power to suppress my voice and keep me in hiding.

Fortunately,  God had bigger plans for me.

DECISIONS: Early on, I chose to stay with Jenni even though she had totally broken my heart.  It was a combination of knowing that she was the love of my life and not wanting my boys to grow up in a broken home.  Later, I made another decision.  It was time to “OWN” my pain, only then could God truly begin to heal my heart.  Until I could totally forgive Jenni, I would not be free from reliving that pain.

Once I came to grips with these decisions, I was free to hear God’s voice.  My desire to seek Him daily was awakened like I hadn’t experienced in years.  Having this renewed connection with God was the most healing experience in this whole devastation.  This also opened the door to using the tools my Life Coach introduced me to.  He helped me look at “thoughts” I was holding onto from my past that kept me from expressing my feelings and being the MAN God had called me to be.  Almost immediately, I let go of some destructive thought patterns… the one’s that were not serving me.  Almost immediately, I found myself freely speaking my mind.  

FINALLY!

Within days, I was communicating with Jenni in ways I never had in our whole 8 years of marriage.

It was honest.
It was intimate.
It was AWESOME!

This is when God clearly said, “Brian, it’s time to share your story”. I mentioned this to Jenni and what was amazing was she said she was hearing the same exact message from God.

We went to our counselor, our coach and our closest supporters and they all agreed it was a good idea.  Matt, our pastor,  said it would be perfect if we could share our story during his message that coming Sunday (yesterday).  This was WAY SOONER than we had in mind but we chose to believe that God’s timing is perfect.

Men… Do whatever it takes to Seek God and have Him help you find your voice!  There are hundreds of thousands of people who can be encouraged by what you have to say.  Lives and relationships can be changed for the better.

It’s not easy.  In fact, it’s downright scary… but God has called you to do it!  I am discovering every day that the most exciting place to live is in the center of God’s will.

Please continue to pray for us and specifically that I can continue to use my voice to honor God.

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