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Since our episode of Unfaithful aired yesterday on OWN  I thought it was a good time to discuss what it’s like to remember something awful.

Everyone knows the saying, “forgive and forget”. Well it’s simply not a very truthful saying. Even after you forgive, you will likely remember forever. The power of forgiveness is the memory does not get to control you or your emotions any longer.

Watching the show last night with Jenni was almost as difficult as sitting in counseling sessions shortly after she confessed to me. The pain was fresh, raw and totally disturbing.

I was humiliated very publicly.

Don’t read into what I am saying here. It was by choice and I don’t regret sharing so publicly. BUT, it was painful and difficult to endure in the moment.

As much as I want to crawl back in a hole and feel sorry for myself . Instead I am choosing to move forward, to push closer to Jenni and to continue to chose forgiveness over bitterness. God has worked a miraculous restoration in our marriage and I am very grateful. In all sincerity this experience has proved to be another layer of healing in our marriage and a kick in the head for Satan.

If you are dealing with betrayal or struggling with something you need to confess. Please be encouraged that there is healing and forgiveness available to you. Your story may turn out very different than ours but I know that I wouldn’t change much of anything from the past two years. As painful as it has been, the rewards are far greater. My encouragement to you is to simply do the next “right” thing. You probably know what that is.

Mrs. Clayville,

I am so proud of your willingness to be humbled, vulnerable, and even attacked by a few. I know your heart. Everything you have shared publicly was intentional in order to help a few ladies avoid making the same mistakes. To right a wrong. I am proud of you for risking everything with just a slight hope that you would be able to live with me in total honesty and purity. I am not sure if I could have made the incredibly difficult decisions that you have made along this journey of restoration. You will have a special place in the God’s kingdom one day. I love you.

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